


Swim

by galia_carrots



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Modern AU, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29218704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galia_carrots/pseuds/galia_carrots
Summary: Following a devastating diagnosis for his eight year old daughter Lydia, Daryl Dixon's life is turned upside down. It goes from a simple life of work and Lydia, to a whirlwind of hospitals, medications, therapies, and cleaning, all things even more complicated by his status as a single father. However, when Carol Peletier, who runs the hospital's parental support group, gets the call about a single parent with a very sick little girl she isn't going to let him be alone. Not when he needs help most.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	1. Tidal Wave

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Here is my first foray into Caryl fanfic, I hope you all like it and let me know what you all think!

Tidal Wave 

_I found a tidal wave_   
_Begging to tear down the dawn_   
_Memories like bullets_

_They fired at me from a gun_   
_Cracking the armor yeah_   
_I swim for brighter days_   
_Despite of the absence of sun_   
_Choking on salt water_   
_I'm not giving in_   
_I'm not giving in_   
_I swim_

_\- "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin_

This wasn’t exactly what Daryl had in mind for their Saturday morning, instead of the swimming pool with his usually bubbly eight year old Lydia he was sitting in the pediatricians office. They’d been lucky to get in at all, Lori didn’t usually see patients on Saturdays, but she’d made an exception for them. Working with her ex husband paid off he supposed. 

As Lydia swings her feet on the table, the oversized gown hanging limply off her shoulders and her stringy hair knotted in the back from falling asleep in her car seat on the way here his mind turns back to the bruises. How the hell had she gotten those bruises?

She’d come to him for her hair to be brushed after her shower last night when he saw it. An angry purple-green mark underneath the strap of her Little Mermaid nightgown. Fear twisted in him as he asked her to show him her torso, and he’d nearly been sick when he saw the rest of her torso. He was a cop, a very specific kind of cop, he worked almost exclusively with domestic violence victims. But he didn't want to scare her, so he swallowed hard and ask her if something had happened at school or at after school care. She said no. He pushed a little harder and she’d stuck her lower lip out of him and reminded him about her story, so he’d let her go get in bed and pick out a book, but as soon as she was asleep he’d called Lori. She’d told him to come in at 10am and they’d take a look. 

“Hello Miss Lydia.” Lori’s chipper voice drug Daryl from his thoughts and back to the exam room. Her dark hair was up today and she looked tired - side effect of a teething baby he guesses. “And Daryl, nice to see you.” 

“I don’t want shots.” Lydia pouts, her dark eyes narrowing at Lori. The last time they were here had been for her flu shot. 

“Well no shots today.” Lori says, setting a clipboard down and getting a thermometer from the tray next to the bed. “So your daddy tells me you have some bruising.” 

“Yeah.” Lydia says, letting Lori pop the thermometer underneath her tongue. 

“Do you remember where you got them?” Lori asks. Lydia shakes her head. Lori turns her attention to Daryl. “Have you noticed anything but the bruising?” 

“Um…” Daryl frowns, trying to think. “No not really. I mean she says nothing happened at school or anything, She’s in kind of a mood but we were supposed to go to the pool…” 

“Okay.” Lori says. “Well, I’ll take a look and hopefully we’ll get this figured out.” She takes the thermometer from Lydia’s tongue and looks at the monitor, frowning slightly. 

“Does she have a fever?” Daryl asks. 

“Not really no.” Lori frowns. “I mean it’s a little higher but I don’t think I would consider it a fever yet.” She puts the thermometer back and turns her attention to Lydia. “Alright Miss Lydia, want to show me these bruises.” 

“Okay…” Lydia frowns, sliding the gown off. They hadn’t gotten any better since last night, and hell the one on her side looked even worse. Lori runs her fingers over them gently. 

“You don’t remember falling on the playground?” Lori asks. “Or maybe running into something while playing?” 

“No ma’am.” Lydia says quietly. “I’m not lying I promise.” 

“I know, I know.” Lori says. “Just sometimes we get hurt and we don’t remember until later.”

“Well I don’t remember.” Lydia insists. 

“Okay, How about you get your clothes on and I’m gonna talk to your daddy outside.” Lori says. 

“Okay. Right outside though?” Lydia frowns apprehensively. 

“Right outside.” Lori promises, motioning Daryl to follow her outside the room. Daryl kisses Lydia’s head and steps out with Lori, not sure if being asked to step aside is a good thing or a bad thing just yet. 

“She okay?” Daryl frowns, shutting the office door quietly. 

“Yeah.” Lori says. “I just want her to have some blood work done and I know she’ll panic if I say anything with needles. So I’m telling you here.” 

“Yeah that’s Lyd.” Daryl chuckles dryly. “What’s the bloodwork for?” 

“Well it checks for lots of different things but I’m mostly going to be looking at her iron levels. The bruising could point to anemia, and if she has that we’ll get her on an iron supplement.” Lori says. “Does she eat a lot of meat? Spinach?” 

“Never had trouble gettin’ her to eat nothin’.” Daryl says. “Doesn’ much care fer sprouts but she’ll eat jus’ bout everything else.” 

“Good.” Lori says. “I’m going to expedite the bloodwork, we should have it back by tonight or tomorrow morning.” 

“Thanks Lori, I know I’m probably overreacting, it's just - with her past…” He shakes his head. 

“I know Daryl. I’m a parent. Rick and I were the same way about Carl, and Shane and I are the same way about Judith.” Lori reaches out and rubs his arm, offering a smile. “But you’re doing a great job, and I don’t think anyone is deliberately hurting your little girl. I just think she’s a rough and tumble kid who might have an iron deficiency.” 

“Okay.” Daryl nods, a knot in his stomach releasing a little bit. Bloodwork wouldn’t be pleasant with Lydia but he was pretty sure he could bribe her with chicken nuggets if she got it done. “Thanks.” 

“Of course, and we’re still on for tonight at Rick and Michonne’s?” Lori asks, glancing with a smile at the doorway as Lydia opens it and shuffles back out. 

“Yeah, Lydia’s been talkin’ ‘bout that all week.” Daryl chuckles. “Should I bring something?” 

“I don’t think so, bottle of wine maybe, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Knowing Rick there’s a rack of ribs and more beans than any group of people can - or should eat.” Lori chuckles. 

“Can we go now daddy?” Lydia pouts, looking up at him. 

“Well kiddo we gotta get some blood work done first okay?” Daryl says, ushering her down the hall. “Bye Lori, see ya tonight.” 

“B-blood work?” Lydia frowns. “That’s a needle?” 

“Yeah kid,” Daryl frowns. “But ya know what, you be real brave an’ we’ll go get McDonald’s okay?” 

“I guess.” Lydia mutters, still sounding less than happy about the prospect of the needle. 

* * *

The phlebotomist was a nice enough looking woman, dark hair, wide eyes and a bright smile as she told Lydia to climb in the chair and asked if she wanted a bear to hold. The look Lydia gave her was apparently enough to tell her that no she didn't want a bear, she didn’t want to be here right now. 

“Wanna hold my hand?” Daryl offers, taking a seat next to the blood draw chair. 

“Y-Yes please.” Lydia mutters, reaching out for his hand and closing her eyes, a whine already rising in her throat as the woman takes the alcohol swab to her arm. “Daddy.” 

“I know, I know.” He whispers, sliding one hand up to her elbow and holding it down firmly as she starts to scream and wriggle. 

“Daddy!” She shrieked, her face starting to turn red as the needle slid under her skin. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He whispers, “You’re doin’ great baby girl, You just gotta hold still.” She wriggled even more defiantly at that, but he held her arm steady so the needle wouldn’t dislodge. It seemed to take forever before the phlebotomist had what she needed and pulled the needle out. “There, you did it. I told ya you could.” 

“I want to go!” Lydia’s breathing is rapid, her eyes wide and anxious. “I want to go!” 

“We can, we can.” Daryl promises, kneeling in front of her and stroking her hair. “You gotta breathe sweetheart, just take a deep breath for me and breathe. Just breathe.” 

Her fearful dark eyes focused on him and she took a deep breath, mouthing ‘one two three four five’ as she did. He watched her shoulder relax and then she leaned forward into his shoulder, still shaking and breathing. Bloodwork had always been traumatic for her. He wasn’t sure why - there was no telling why - but she’d had bigger fears to deal with in therapy. Her terror of the closet - so bad she wouldn’t even get her own clothes from there, the fact that she’d refused to sleep with the lights off, hell for 3 years even the sight of a swimming pool had caused a complete breakdown, it was only this summer that she’d actually started going in - and never over her head, she hardly left the baby pool at the community pool, and she had yet to completely submerge herself at het swim lessons. 

“You’re okay baby girl.” He promises, hugging her tightly. “Lets get you some lunch okay?” 

She nodded silently and let him pick her up and take her to the car, sniffling into his shoulder as he set her in her booster and buckled her in. He hoped to hell it wouldn’t color the rest of their day but he wouldn’t be surprised. Trauma was a fickle mistress, but it was over, and soon enough they’d know if she was anemic and how to fix it and that would be that. 

She ate her chicken nuggets silently in the back, and by the time they were pulling into the drive way she’d started to doze off in her seat. Daryl opened the back door and held out his hand for her to take it as she climbed out of the car. She looked exhausted, she didn’t nap often these days but unexpected events like this always wore her out. 

“You wan’ a nap?” Daryl asks, closing the car door and fishing his keys back out of his pocket to unlock the front door. 

“Yeah.” She mumbles, rubbing her eyes. “It’s scary.” 

“Yeah,” Daryl nods. “But ya did good, an’ Dr. Grimes is gonna get ya some medicine t’ make those bruises go away, an’ then you’ll be all good.” 

“Okay.” She mutters, kicking her shoes off and shuffling through the entryway. “Can I see Dog first?” 

“Let me get him but yeah.” Daryl grins. His daughter loved the ex-k9, a hold over from his time on the K-9 unit with Rick. Lydia follows him to the back of the house and waits in the doorway of the master bedroom as Daryl approaches the Kennel. “Wait Dog.” Daryl says, opening the kennel and stepping back from it, inside the Belgian whimpers with anticipation, waiting for his release word, Daryl chuckles and says; “Lets Go.” 

Dog hurries from the kennel tail wagging and greets Daryl by nuzzling his hand eagerly and then hurrying over to nuzzle and lick Lydia. She lets out a small giggle, which makes Daryl feel at least a little better, she’ll be fine after a nap he supposes. 

“Good Dog.” Lydia mutters, rubbing between his ears and giving him a kiss on the nose. “Can I lay in here daddy?” 

“Nah kid.” Daryl says, returning to the hallway. “You know the rule, everyone sleeps in their own bed.” 

“Okay.” She pouts, shuffling across to her bedroom and pushing the door open. 

“Want me to tuck you in?” He asks, leaning on her door frame and watching her pick through her pajamas. 

“No. Where’s my Ariel nightgown?” Lydia frowns, looking over at him. 

“Dryer, I’ll get it.” Daryl says going to get the garment. It was starting to get a little worn, but she adored it and wore it most every night. He returns to her bedroom and holds the gown out to her. “There ya go kiddo. When you get up we’ll watch a movie okay?” 

“Okay.” Lydia nods, pulling the gown over her head and climbing up into her bed.. “Turn the lights off?”

“You got it.” He offers a smile, flicking the light switch and closing the door behind him. 

* * *

She sleeps for a long time, longer than he’s ever known her too, and for the first time he actually has to wake her from a nap. Luring her out of bed with a snack and some juice on the couch to get her to wake. A scowl is placed on her face and she’s sitting on the couch, focused on the TV when he notices the time. 

“Shit.” He mutters. “Hey kiddo we’re going to be late - go get dressed okay?” 

“Okay.” She mutters, but doesn’t make any move to get up. 

“Lydia seriously we -“ He’s cut off by his cell phone ringing, he pulls it out of his pocket Lori. She must be wondering where they are. He hits the ‘accept button and puts his phone to his ear. “Hey Lori, sorry we’re just running a little late. We’ll be there in about twenty minutes.” He motions for Lydia to hurry it up and she reluctantly drags herself off the couch and down the hall.

“No - not that’s um… that’s not why I’m calling.” Her voice is strangely high pitched, strained almost. 

“Why are you calling?” He frowns. 

“Daryl are - where’s Lydia?” She says slowly. 

“Getting dressed.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Living room.” 

“Okay. I need you to sit down, and I need you to pay very close attention to what I say next.” Lori’s voice wavers ever so slightly. 

“Okay…” Daryl sits down on the edge of the couch, a frown etched on his face now. “Lori, what’s goin’ on. Yer startin’ t’ scare me a lil’ bit.” 

“We - I expedited Lydia’s bloodwork, and um, she’s not anemic.” Lori says. “Daryl I’m so sorry, I suspect that Lydia has Leukemia.” 

“Wh-what?” A distressed little chuckle leaving his throat. “She- what You said - you said it was anemia.” 

“I thought it was Daryl.” She says. “There were no other indicators that she might have leukemia other than her bruises. But -but right now you need to pack a bag for you and - and Lydia. And you need to drive her to the Emergency room at Children’s. I’ve contacted the head of pediatric oncology, Dr. Rhee. She’s expecting you. She’ll confirm the results.”

His head is spinning. Leukemia. Leukemia. Not Lydia, never Lydia. That was something that happened on TV, or - or to the kid whose parents you know from church. It didn’t actually happen. Hadn’t she already been through enough?

“Daryl.” Lori’s voice breaks through the phone again. “Daryl are you there?” 

“Y-yeah.” He croaks. 

“Can you repeat back what I told you?” 

“L-Lydia has cancer. We have to go to the children’s hospital ER I - what about Dog?” It sounds silly, he knows it does, but he can’t just leave the dog. 

“I’ve already contacted Rick and told him something is wrong, he’s on his way to get Dog, he should be there before you leave.” Lori says evenly. 

“Okay.” He licks his lips, silence coloring the space between him, starting to fill his head. 

“And Daryl,” Lori’s voice fills in. “We’re all here for you. You’re not alone.” 

“Thanks Lori.”

“Dr. Rhee is waiting. Pack for a few days.” A click, and the line is dead.


	2. Be Scared With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia is admitted to the hospital, and Daryl faces a tough reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here we go with chapter 2. We don't meet Carol until the next chapter which I'm hoping to get out in a couple of days, but I do have a midterm tomorrow so I'm not sure I'll be able to get it out before Monday. As always let me know what you think, i love hearing from you guys!

_ Be scared with me, honey  
Be scared, I am too  
Let's share in the running  
We'll fare best as two  
Be scared 'til it's funny  
Be scared through and through  
Be scared 'til it's sunny  
We'll stare down into the unknown  
And anything this world can do to you and me _

_ -"Be Scared With Me" by Canyon City _

The next half hour is a blur, he’s throwing things in a suitcase for Lydia and then throwing them in the car, pulling out of the driveway as Rick pulls in. Rick waves at them but Daryl doesn’t even register the movement until he’s already out of the driveway and turning off their street. 

“Daddy where are we going?!” Lydia’s high pitched panicked voice breaks through the colored fog in his head and he has to pull to the side of the side of the road. He turns back in his seat and looks back at her. Tears are running down her cheeks, making his heart twist when he sees them. 

“Lydia I-” He takes a deep breath. “Sorry kid I - um we’re - I talked to Dr. Lori on the phone.” 

“M-More needles?” Lydia whimpers. 

“I don’t know.” He says. “But we have to go to the hospital okay? They’re going to - to make sure you’re okay.”

“Wh-why do we have to go now?” Lydia whines. 

“Because - Because something might be wrong with your blood.” He grapples for a child friendly way to explain what's running through his head. 

“Wrong with my blood?” Lydia sounds confused now. “What's wrong with my blood?”

“We - we don’t know.” Daryl says, a half truth but he’ll think of a better explanation later. “But we have to go to the hospital to find out okay?”

“So… we’re not going to Carl’s?” Lydia pouts, her lower lip sticking out. “We’re going to the hospital to see Dr. Lori?”

“We’re going to the hospital, but we’re not going to see Dr. Lori.” He says quietly. “We’re going to see a different doctor. A special doctor.” 

“A special doctor?” Lydia’s voice is shaky. Wariness of doctors was nothing new, she’d been picked over by a dozen of them taking photos and records for evidence against her mother. “Like - like the one who took the pictures?”

“No.” Daryl says heavily. “Not like that. This is a doctor for your blood.” 

“A doctor for my blood.” She mutters. 

“Yeah. We’re gonna go check your blood.” He nods. 

“And then we can go home?” 

“And then we can go home.” He hopes to hell it isn’t a lie. Lydia turns her face away from him to look out the window, the evening sun catching the tears on her cheeks and making them shimmer. She doesn’t say anything so Daryl turns back around, puts the car in drive and starts off towards the hospital. 

Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta is only 20 minutes from where they live, he’d driven by thousands of times - even been in a few times when a case warranted it - but he’d never really  _ seen  _ it. It’s a big building with a large swooping glass overhang leading up to the emergency room entrance and brightly colored stick figured logo printed on one of the outer walls. Daryl finds himself staring at one of the parking spaces labeled “emergency room parking”. Did he go there? Or all the way to long term parking? Did it matter? He could move the car later he decides, pulling into the spot and unbuckling his seat belt. 

“Ready kiddo?” Daryl says, turning to Lydia.

Lydia shakes her head, her wide brown eyes watching him in terror. “I don’t want to Daddy.” 

“I know, kid.” He says, stepping out of the car and opening her door. “Want me to carry you?” Lydia nods and unbuckles her seatbelt, holding her arms out for him to lift her from the seat. He picks up the duffle bag, sliding it over one arm and then picks up Lydia, closing the car door he hears the automatic click as he turns and starts for the hospital. 

The ER is fairly unbusy, a couple of coughing kids and their worried parents, and a single receptionist sitting behind the desk. 

“Hello Sir how can I help you?” He can’t help but feel that the woman's voice is far too chipper and enthusiastic for the ER of a children’s hospital. 

“I - I um - I was told to bring my daughter here.” Daryl’s mouth is suddenly very dry and his throat tight. 

“Okay, what’s your daughter’s name?” The woman's bright smile just won’t fade will it?

“Uh, Lydia. Lydia Dixon, we were told they were waiting for us here.” He mutters, was he in the right place? There were three of these hospitals spread throughout the city after all. Had he come to the wrong one?

She clicks on the computer a few times and recognition sparks in her eyes, and then ever so slightly, her smile falters. “Oh, yes Dr. Rhee informed us you’d be coming. If you’d just go over to bed 4, the nurse will come take vitals and I'll tell Dr. Rhee you’re here. Fill out this paperwork while you wait okay?” She holds out a clipboard. 

“Lyd, you take that?” Daryl’s out of hands to take the clipboard with. Lydia lifts her head off his shoulder and removes one arm from around his neck to take the clipboard with. 

“Is Dr. Rhee nice?” Lydia asks as she takes the clipboard from the receptionist. 

“Dr. Rhee is very nice.” The receptionist assures. “You’ll love her.” 

“Good.” Lydia mutters, putting her head back down on Daryl’s shoulder as they walk over to bed 4. He sets her down on the bed, drops the duffle bag in one of the chairs and pulls the curtains closed around the bed for privacy. Lydia sits limply in the middle of the bed and he looks at her, properly, for the first time since he got that phone call. 

How could he not see it before? She was pale, circles rimming her eyes, and she kept yawning in spite of her long nap this afternoon. Had she looked like this for a long time? Or was he only thinking she did because of what Lori had said?

Daryl picks up the clipboard from where Lydia had dropped it on the bed and sits down to look at the questions. Some of it was easy, name, date of birth, blood type, vaccine history. But some of it was harder; 

_ Does your child have a family history of medical or psychiatric issues? If yes, what relation and what diagnosis? _

He didn’t know. Evil her mother may have been, but as far as a medical history went? He had no idea. He didn’t know anything about her before age four, when he’d been called to the ER to get the evidence. He licks his lips and scrawls ‘ _ unknown’ _ in the space following the question and moving on to the rest of the form. He doesn’t really have anyone to put as an emergency contact but he scrawls Rick and Michonne’s numbers in the provided spacing, he’ll clear it with them later. He skips the questions about menstruation - she was too young for that - and stops at the question; 

_ Why have you brought your child to the ER today?  _

His mouth is very dry again, and he looks over to the bed where Lydia is sat. She was halfway in between pajamas and dinner clothes - jeans underneath her nightgown - and her hair was still a mess. She’s staring quietly at the blue curtain, her eyes glazed over, not making a peep or complaining about being bored, a large bruise peeking out underneath the strap of the nightgown. 

The question taunts him on the page, and with shaky handwriting he writes ‘ _ Leukemia’  _ The word is bolder and darker then the rest of the words on the page. 

“Knock knock!” A voice calls from outside the curtain, making Lydia jump. 

“Come - come in.” Daryl says, reaching for Lydia’s hand and giving it a squeeze. A nurse in bright pink scrubs with white hearts on them slips past the curtain. 

“Hi Miss Lydia.” The nurse smiles. “I’m Nurse Andrea.” 

“Hi.” Lydia mutters. 

“Can you hold out your arm for me?” The nurse asks, reaching for the equally brightly colored blood pressure cuff. Lydia eyes it warily, but extends her arm. The nurse, Andrea, puts it around her arm. “And stick out your tongue?” She goes for a thermometer, which Lydia lets be slid into her mouth. “And point your finger?” And on the pulse oximeter slides. “Thank you Lydia.” To Daryl she turns and says “I can take those forms for you.” 

“Thanks.” He mutters, handing her the clipboard. The monitors beep and off comes the pulse oximeter and blood pressure cuff, and out comes the thermometer. 

“Okay Miss Lydia you’re running just a little bit of a temperature but we’re going to let Dr. Rhee take a look at you before giving anything. Dad do you have any questions?” She turns to Daryl, looking at him expectantly. 

“Yeah uh, when uh - when will Dr. Rhee be down? And - what uh - what do we do from -from here?” He rubs his chin with one hand. 

“Well,” The nurse says carefully. “From here Dr. Rhee will run more tests to confirm the diagnosis, and then you’ll be admitted to the Oncology floor. Is Mom coming? Should we wait a bit?”

Daryl shakes his head. “Nah, ‘s just me. I jus’ - i jus’ wan’ her t’ be okay.” 

“You’re in very good hands. I’ll go run these forms and Dr. Rhee will be right in.” Nurse Andrea says with a smile, turning from them and slipping back out of the curtained area. 

* * *

They wait almost an hour for Dr. Rhee, and Daryl finds himself growing more and more antsy. Lydia doesn’t seem to mind, she sits quietly and watches videos on the Ipad. Daryl meanwhile half heartedly answers texts from Lori, Shane, Rick, and Michonne. He even hears from his boss, telling him not to worry and focus on Lydia - which is good, because he hasn’t thought about work a single moment since that phone call from Lori. 

“Hello?” a voice calls from beyond the curtain. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah um - sorry yeah.” Daryl says quickly, standing up. 

Daryl isn’t sure what he’d been expecting when he thought of Dr. Rhee but it definitely wasn’t the person standing in front of him. Dr. Rhee had shoulder length brown hair, green eyes, and looked to be about six months pregnant. She was smiling at him and Lydia and holding her hand out. She wasn’t the cool clinical figure he imagined a pediatric oncologist to be, she was warm and welcoming. He shakes her hand. 

“I’m Daryl, this is Lydia.” He says, watching Dr. Rhee shake Lydia’s hand. 

“Well it’s nice t’ meet ya both.” Dr. Rhee isn’t from Atlanta, he can tell that much from her accent, she’s from somewhere rural, somewhere like he was from. “I’m Maggie Rhee, Lori told you you’d be coming. Now Miss Lydia,” She pulls up a stool, taking a squirt of the hand sanitizer from the wall as she does. “What brings you here today?”

“I’m sick with bad blood.” Lydia says, watching Dr. Rhee warily as she feels the lymph nodes on Lydia’s neck. 

“Well you’re lucky then.” Dr. Rhee smiles. “I happen to be the best at treating bad blood. Now can I borrow your daddy for a moment?” 

“Uh-huh.” Lydia nods. “But I want bunny first.” 

“Alright kiddo.” Daryl opens the duffle bag and pulls the worn, stuffed rabbit from inside. “There ya go, there’s bunny.” She takes it and lays back down on the bed, letting Daryl step outside the curtain without so much as a murmur. 

Dr. Rhee leads him a few feet away to a row of empty chairs. “I took a look at Lydia’s bloodwork and I believe Dr. Grimes was right, she has Leukemia.” 

“Okay.” He nods. “What- what does that mean?” 

“Well, tonight we’re going to go ahead and admit her to Oncology, and in the morning we’re going to do a Bone Marrow Biopsy, this will tell us what kind of Leukemia lydia has and allow us to make a good treatment plan she’ll als-” 

“Type of Leukemia?” Daryl interrupts. “There’s types of Leukemia?”

“Yes.” Dr. Rhee says. “There’s several types. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, Acute Myeloid Leukemia, Chronic Lymphoblastic Leukemia, Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, and Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia. We know Lydia has one of the Acute types, most likely Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, it accounts for 75% of all childhood leukemiads. There’s also subtypes of that, but those are more complicated, I can tell you about them but I do think it would be better to wait until after the bone marrow biopsy so we have a better idea what we’re dealing with.” 

“There’s -  _ what?”  _ Daryl manages. “And and what’s a bone marrow biopsy what - what are you going to do to my daughter?” 

“There are subtypes. But I don’t want you to worry about that right now.” Dr. Rhee says, her voice calm but strong. “A Bone Marrow Biopsy is where we drill a hole into her pelvic bone and take a sample of the bone marrow, that way we can test it for leukemia cells and find out which subtype we’re dealing with.” 

“You’re going to drill a hole in her pelvis?” His head is spinning. “She - she’s  _ eight.”  _

“She’s going to be anesthetized, because at the same time we’re going to do a lumbar puncture with chemo and put in a PICC line.” She explains. 

“A - a what? You don’t even know what kind of Leukemia she has and you’re going to give her chemo during surgery?” He asks, trying to process what was said to him.

“A lumbar puncture with chemo, we’re going to sample her spinal fluid and inject chemotherapy drugs into her spinal fluid. We do this with all leukemia patients regardless of type. We’re also placing a PICC line. That’s a line that runs from the upper arm into the heart. We can change this to a Port-a-cath at a later date but for the time being a PICC line will be easiest.” She explains. 

Daryl can’t even think straight anymore, all he sees are the words, Chemo, Bone Marrow, Leukemia, PICC, Cancer. Cancer. Cancer, running across his brain. Finally he swallows. “Okay - okay and - and you’ll - you do all of this?” 

“No.” She says. “Well, I do some of it. I’ll do the biopsy and the lumbar puncture. But the general surgeon will place the PICC line. He’s my husband actually and he’s very good at what he does. I promise.” 

“Okay.” He swallows. “Okay. This - this is a lot.” 

“I know.” Dr. Rhee offers a supportive smile and reaches out to squeeze his hands. “Is your wife coming?”

“I uh - I don’t have a wife.” He says. “‘S jus’ me. Lydia’s mom - she’s - well I adopted her. ‘S just us.” 

“Okay.” Dr. Rhee nods slowly. “The hospital has a support group for parents of children with cancer. It’s run by a woman who was a single mom during her daughter's cancer treatment. Is it alright if I give her a call?” 

“Sure.” The robotic reply comes, but now along with the word Cancer and Leukemia is another thought. There are enough kids with this for a support group - and enough single parents that Dr. Rhee knew one off the top of her head. 

“Alright.” Dr. Rhee says. “Her name is Carol Peletier, I’ll give her a call and then put you in touch with the group. Does that work?” 

“Yeah.” He breathes. 

“Then how about you go sit with Lydia, a nurse will be down soon to take you up to your room.” Dr. Rhee stands and offers a supportive smile. “Your daughter is in good hands Mr. Dixon. And you obviously care a lot. That’s good, Lydia’s gonna need that.” 

* * *

The room they end up in, room 324, has a large window looking over the city, it’s dark now and the street lights have lit up the city like a million fireflies. Lydia scowls as the nurse hands her a hospital gown. 

“Do i have to put this on?” Lydia frowns. 

“Probably baby girl.” Daryl sighs, “come on, get yer stuff off an’ put it on. Then ya can get int’ bed.” 

“I don’t want to sleep.” Lydia pouts. “I’m hungry daddy.” 

Daryl checks his watch, it was almost 10pm and they hadn’t eaten yet. Christ where had the hours gone. “Let me ask the nurse if we can get somethin’ t’ eat okay?”

“Okay.” Lydia sighs, climbing up into the bed. 

Daryl opens the door to find a nurse standing right in front of him. “Oh uh - sorry.” eh mutters. “I was um - we wanted to know if I can get her something to eat.” 

“Well Dr. Rhee wants her started on antibiotics for the fever, but we can get you a wheelchair for her and you can take her to the cafeteria.” the nurse says. 

“The - oh right.” he frowns, she had had a fever. “Why antibiotics?”

“Just incase it’s an infection, it’s a high risk with Leukemia patients. We’ll start them via IV.” The nurse explains. 

“IV.” That would go over like a lead balloon. She hated needles. 

“It’s the fastest way to get them.” The nurse explains. “But then you can take her for food or have it brought here.” 

“Okay.” Daryl nods, turning back into the room. Lydia is watching him suspiciously from the bed. “Lyd, we gotta give you some medicine.” 

“What kind of medicine?” Lydia frowns. 

“Medicine for your fever.” Daryl says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “They gotta use a needle but it won’t hurt, you can sit on my lap the whole time.” 

“Th-the whole time?” Lydia mutters, licking her lips nervously.

“The whole time.” He agrees. 

Lydia climbs into his lap and watches the nurse - who introduces herself as Sasha - prepare the IV line. “Daddy I don’t want to.” 

“I know baby girl.” Daryl sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. 

“You know what helps sometimes?” Sasha says, wiping Lydia’s arm with an alcohol wipe. “Singing. Do you know any songs?”

“Row your boat.” Lydia mutters. 

“Okay.” Sasha says. “Then how about you close your eyes and you sing me the whole thing, and by the time you’re done, the IV will be in and the needle will be gone okay?” 

“Okay.” Lydia muttered, closing her eyes. “Row, row, row your boat…” 

Daryl can’t watch, so he looks instead outside the window that leads to the corridor. He can see the nurses station for the floor from here. There’s a little bald boy in a hospital gown, clutching an IV pole and smirking devilishly as he peers around the station corner. As he does a black man with long dreadlocks comes around the corner, scooping him up and tickling him. Daryl can’t hear it from here but he can see the little boy erupt into giggles as he’s swept off his feet and tickled. 

They look out of place the man and the boy, laughing and tickling on a cancer ward, but Daryl is mesmerized. He watched the man put the boy on his shoulder, grab the rolling IV pole and start down the hall, still laughing. How can they both be laughing so hard? The little boy especially seems consumed by laughter, clinging to the man’s dreadlocks as they walk past the window, he can hear the giggles as they pass, the little boys voice cutting through the air; 

“You found me daddy! You found me!”


	3. The Foot of This Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol contends with painful memories when she meets Daryl, and Lydia has surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 3! I actually managed to get lot of it done last night but I was so exhausted I couldn't finish and proof read everything. I passed my midterm though and cranked this chapter out today. Let me know what you think and I promise we'll learn more about Sophia and Carol's past, how Daryl came to adopt Lydia, and how Ezekiel and Henry got to where they are in the future.

The Foot of This Mountain

_ It feels like falling _

_ It feels like rain _

_ Like losing my balance _

_ Again and again _

_ It once was so easy _

_ Breathe in, breathe out _

_ But at the foot of this mountain _

_ I only see clouds _

_ -“Sorrow” by Sleeping At Last _

* * *

The call had come in late last night as Carol was getting ready for bed. She’d just put the Sadie in her crate for the night and was in the bathroom when the phone rang. Calls at that hour had never been good, and they were only ever from a few people. Seeing Maggie’s name across the screen filled her with that old familiar sadness, sadness that was once again proven right. Another kid, another single parent facing that world alone. She’d promised Maggie that she’d come by around 10 the next morning, when official visiting hours started, but Carol knew she’d never make it that long. 

She lay in bed, half dozing and then jerking awake at the sound of beeping monitors long gone. Once she even swears she hears that heavy hospital room door swing shut across the small apartment. By six am she’s given up, she throws her running clothes on, gets the dog out of her crate and grabs the leash. Sadie seemed less then thrilled by this change in plans but trotted after Carol on the half hour run all the same. When they get back Carol dumps some kibble in her bowl and heads for the shower. 

By 7:30 she’s run out of ways to procrastinate. Her breakfast remains untouched and she’s sitting at the small breakfast table mentally running over everything Maggie had said. These calls  _ always  _ hurt, because it was always another child hurting. Another family without much support. But this call had hit just a little too close to home. 8 year old girl. Leukemia. Single Parent. As Maggie had described that she’d seen it happening all over again, the fevers, the bruising, the hoping maybe she had the flu, or strep throat, the devastation as she learned her worst fear had been right. 

7:45. Fuck it, she’ll sit in the damn parking lot if she has to. She puts the dog back in her crate and grabs her purse and her keys. 

As she’s passing the grocery store she decides to pull in and pick up a balloon for the little girl. It’ll be cheaper here than at the hospital. She walks up to the floral counter. 

“Can I help you?” The somewhat irritated teenager says behind the counter. 

“I’d like to buy one of the get well balloons.” Carol says. “The mylar ones.” 

“Fine.” The teenager mutters. “That’ll be 7 dollars.” 

Carol hands over the cash and waits for the balloon to be filled, it’s a bright yellow and pink thing, a bit overly cheery, but a little girl would love it. Carol takes the balloon, puts it in the back seat. Before she drives away she contemplates calling Ezekiel, if only to kill some more time, and her finger is hovering over his name when she remembers it’s a Sunday. He and Henry will be watching a stream of Mass from the hospital bed. 

Traffic delays her another half hour but by 9am she’s walking through the sliding doors of the hospital and crossing to the reception desk. The receptionist raises her eyebrows. 

“You’re early.” 

“You know me.” Carol mutters. “Maggie called me last night, a girl with leukemia and another single parent.” She holds one hand out for the sign in sheet. 

“She left a message.” The receptionist says, holding the sheet out. “I’ll get your sticker printed off and you can go on up. You got a last name?” 

“Dixon.” Carol says, filling out the sheet methodically, the balloon bouncing as her hand moves. 

“Dixon, Lydia Dixon, Room 324.” The receptionist says, holding out a sticker with her name printed on it. “Take this and go on up. Sampsons are in too today.” 

“I know.” Carol says, fixing the sticker to the front of her shirt. “I’ll stop by and see them later. Thanks.” 

Stepping out onto the third floor always makes her heart rate speed up. She’d lived here for the better part of two years, pushing strollers and pulling wagons. Little has changed in the 4 years where her role had transitioned from parent of a patient to parent support, but now the handprints on the wall go further. When Sophia had been receiving treatment here they’d just started them, painted the child’s hand their favorite color the day they finish chemo and write their name on it. Now, the hands wrap almost all the way across the ward, small baby hands that tug and her heart and the large hands of the almost adults that would claim they didn’t need to do it, but always did. So many hands. So many names. 

“Carol?” The voice from the nurses station pulls her out of her thoughts. Sasha is standing there, her eyes tired and dressed like she’s getting ready to go home. 

“Sasha.” She forces a smile. “Maggie called me last night, said a new little girl came in with her dad.” 

“That would be Lydia.” Sasha nods. “Yeah room 324, they just took her down to surgery though. Her dad isn’t back yet. You can wait in the room if you want.” 

“Thanks Sasha. Heading home?” She asks. 

“Yeah.” Sasha nods. “I’ve been doing nights the last 3 weeks. I’d say it’s nice to see you but…” 

“It’s never nice to see anyone on this floor.” Carol finishes. “You sure it’s fine if I wait in the room?” 

“Yeah, he knows to expect you.” Sasha nods. 

“Thanks. Get some sleep.” Carol says, moving past her down the hall. From room 323 she can hear the sounds of a church choir and two voices singing along, one small and high, one deep and low. It’s a familiar sound and makes her smile a bit. Maybe she’ll stop in later. She pushes open the door to 324 and ties the balloon to the bed before starting to make up the hideaway bed. 

* * *

The night in the hospital had been anything but restful for Daryl or Lydia. After the IV went in Lydia had needed food - the only food she could have was before midnight - but hadn’t wanted Daryl to leave her alone. It was nearly 11pm by the time he was able to get to the cafeteria for some food. She didn’t eat much, a few bites of the salad, a piece of chicken, and a bite from the apple. He’d tried to get her to eat more but she insisted she wanted to go to bed. He combed her hair out and helped her into fresh pajamas and tucked her in. 

The nurse had told him about the hideaway bed and the sheets in the closet so he pulled them out and made up the hideaway. Of course just about the time he was finally starting to doze off a nurse came into the room to take vitals. Lydia had been grumpy, but had gone back to bed - only to wake a half hour later having wet the bed. The nurse, Sasha, assured him this was expected with the IV she had, they changed the sheets, and then it was time for vitals again. At his last count they’d been woken 4 times and he’d managed maybe a half hour -and Lydia didn’t look much better. 

“Daddy.” Lydia whined, it was 8 in the morning and they’d given up sleep and put on a movie an hour ago. “I’m hungry.” 

“I know you are kiddo.” Daryl sighs, rubbing his eyes. “But we can’t eat just yet. You’ll eat after your surgery.” 

“I don’t want surgery.” Lydia scowls. 

“I don’t want you to have surgery.” He blurts, to sleep deprived to keep from saying it. 

“Then don’t make me.” Lydia retorts. 

“I can’t.” He sighs. “You have to have the surgery, it’s important remember? We talked about the bad blood and how we have to look at your bones and give you medicine and a special tube so you don't have to have an IV all the time.” 

“But I don’t want it. Just tell my blood to stop being bad.” Lydia scowls. 

“I can’t.” He sighs. “I want to, but I can’t. That ain’ how it works.” He sighs, leaning over to press a kiss to her head. 

There’s a knock on the door, and an Asian man steps in, followed by a nurse and resident. “Lydia Dixon?” 

“Here.” Lydia scowls. 

The man smiles. “I’m Dr. Glenn Rhee.” He holds out a hand to Daryl and Lydia. “I’m the Pediatric Surgeon who will be doing Lydia’s PICC line.” 

“It’s -” Daryl pauses, the ‘nice to meet you’ almost came automatically, but he can’t think of anyone he wanted to meet less then the man who was going to insert a line from his daughter’s arm into her heart. “I’m Daryl. This ‘s Lydia.” 

“Hello Miss Lydia.” the Doctor holds out a hand to her. “My wife is Dr. Maggie, she says you’ve been very brave so far.” 

“I’m always brave.” Lydia insists, shaking his hand in the overzealous juvenile manner that all children did. “I’m a ninja. Ninja’s are always brave.” 

It’s the first Daryl is hearing of this Ninja business but Dr. Glenn rhee doesn’t seem to be phased by any of it. He pulls a chair up and sits next to the bed, focused on Lydia.

“Well that’s good.” Dr. Rhee says seriously. “Because we need brave Ninjas in the hospital. In fact,” He says reaching into the pocket of his white coat and producing a pack of markers and a few different bonnet looking things. “Me and My friends have to wear these during surgery, but we need the ninja’s to decorate them. That way they keep us safe while we help you.” 

“You need me to decorate them?” Lydia asks, pulling the three bonnets apart. “So you can be safe?” 

“Yep.” Dr. Rhee grins. “You decorate them And then when me, Dr. Yumiko, and Nurse Kelly see you in the OR we’ll be wearing them so you know that you have ninja doctors. You think you can do that?” 

Lydia frowns for a minute, looking at the pack of markers and the three bonnets. “Okay. I can help.” 

“Oh good.” Dr. Rhee lets out a long breath of over dramatic relief. “We were worried about who would help if you said no. Is it okay if Nurse Kelly stays with you while you help? I need to talk to your dad.” 

“Um…” Lydia frowns, looking over at Daryl. 

“‘S okay.” Daryl says. “We’ll jus’ be right outside, ‘sides I’m not a ninja, I can’t help with that.” 

“Okay.” Lydia says. “We got this.” 

“Alrigh’.” Daryl smiles, Lydia’s already tearing into the package of markers. 

Dr. Glenn Rhee leads him out into the hall and then to a small room across the hall, it’s some sort of private waiting area, a row of chairs, a small table, a few toys. Dr. Glenn Rhee sits down in one chair and motions for Daryl to sit across from him. 

“Now my wife, Maggie, says she discussed some of what’s going to happen today.” Glenn says.

“Yeah uh - I uh, honestly don’ remember much.” He scratches the back of his head, feeling utterly lame in the confession. 

“That’s perfectly normal.” Glenn assures. “It’s a lot to take in, especially as a single parent. Now she told me shes’ contacted someone from the support group to come help.” 

“Yeah.'' Daryl shifts uncomfortably. “I’m not sure tha’s gonna matter much though…” 

“It does.” Glenn says confidently. “Having a support network makes a big difference in the outcome of the child and the stability of the parent.” 

“Oh.” daryl mutters. “Well i’s just me most o’ the time.” 

“And that’s fine.” Glenn says. “You’re a devoted dad Mr. Dixon, you love your daughter, but you need support too. Now, do you have any questions about the surgery specifically before we fill out the forms?” 

“I uh - yeah.” He says, shifting in his seat. “What uh, what’s a PICC line, and uh what does it mean, fer her anyway.” 

“A PICC line is basically a tube we insert into a vein, in Lydia’s case we’ll go through the vein in her left arm, and thread the tube from there into her heart. It allows us to deliver medications, in her case chemotherapy drugs, blood products, and antibiotics without having to give an IV every time.” Glenn explains. “It’s likely this will be exchanged for a Port-a-cath down the road, but a PICC line is a little faster for what she needs right now.” 

“Okay.’ Daryl nods. “Um - Is she - well yer wife mentioned she’ do a bone marrow biopsy and inject chemo into her spine?”

“A lumbar puncture with chemotherapy.” Glenn corrects. “Yes that will be done at the same time.”

“Will she be in pain?” Daryl asks. “I - she’s - she’s adopted and - and she’s been through hell already. Her momma did… some awful shit. Hospitals and - and doctors and pain are pretty big triggers.” 

“I’m not going to lie to you.” Glenn says. “It’s not going to be the most comfortable procedure. But we have a wonderful team of Child Life specialists who help kids deal with stuff like this, and we can put you in touch with a therapist if you need one.” 

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “She’s got a therapist, a good one but - but I don’t know how to broach this with her.” 

“Child Life is good for that.” He says “My sister in law is on the team, I can send her up to you after her surgery.” 

“After?” Daryl frowns. “Not before.” 

“Not before.” Glenn shakes his head. “We have to get her to the OR for these procedures.” 

“Okay.” daryl nods. “When will you take her down? Can I be with her?”

“Yeah.” Glenn says. “We’ll take her in a few minutes, after she’s done with the caps, you can follow us right to the red line. After that we have to take her. Since she’s older we’ll keep her awake the whole time but if it goes badly we can sedate in advance, at least mildly.” 

“It’s going to go badly.” daryl says. “Its - it’s definitely going to go badly.” 

“Mr. Dixon.” Glenn says “It’s not that I don’t believe you, but we do have to try the first time on our own okay? So you can follow us down to the OR floor, give her a kiss and a hug, and then she’ll come with us.” 

The firm tone catches him by surprise, but he supposed. “Alrigh’” He concedes. “But - but you keep talkin’ t’ her ‘bout them ninja’s an’ stuff. Just’ keep her happy.” 

“I will Mr. Dixon.” Glenn promises. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I am going to be a father in three months, and I promise I will treat your daughter like she’s my own.” 

The walk down to the OR floor seems to be miles long. It’s rapidly approaching 9am, and Lydia is now wearing a bright blue, thin paper hospital gown. Her hair braided down her side, her bunny clutched in her arms, the scrub caps for Dr RHee, Dr. Yumiko and Nurse Kelly clutched in the arm that holds Bunny, the other hand clinging to Daryl. He sees the red line coming up and the bed coomes to a halt. 

“Alright Lydia.” Dr. Glenn says, taking one of the caps from her and tying it around his head. “It’s time to say good bye.” 

“Daddy I don’t want to.” Lydia whimpers. 

“I know.” Daryl whispers, leaning in close to her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But you’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna take a nap, and when you wake up I’m gonna be right there. Okay?” 

“No Daddy.” Her eyes well with tears. 

“”M sorry baby girl.” He whispers. “I’m so sorry, but I can’ come any farther with ya.” 

“Daddy.” She whimpers, clutching Bunny. “One more kiss?” 

“One more kiss.” He promises, pressing a kiss to her brow. 

“Ready?” Dr. Yumiko says. 

“No.” Lydia whimpers, but it’s too late, the bed is moving, She twists around to look at him, her little face disappearing behind the wide doors a few meters away. 

“You can go back to the room.” Nurse Kelly says. “We’ll send someone up to get you when she’s waking up so you can be with her.” 

“I uh - yeah.” Daryl mutters. “I’ll uh - i’ll do that.” 

“I’ll send someone out to update you as soon as I can.” Nurse Kelly promises, pressing something into his hand “This will go off when the doctor is ready to talk to you. When it does come to the post op waiting area.” Then she’s pushing through the doors and disappearing. 

Daryl stays rooted to the spot for a few minutes before turning back to the elevator and returning to the third floor. As he passes room 323 he hears some sort of signing, but he doesn’t pay much attention to it. He pushes the door to Lydia’s room open and stops. A woman with shoulder length grey hair is folding up the hideaway bed and a ‘get well soon!’ balloon is tied to the arm of Lydia’s bed. 

Daryl clears his throat. “Um - who are ya?” 

The woman turns, her striking blue eyes meeting his, and a soft smile crossing her face. “I’m Carol, Dr. Rhee called me.” 

‘Oh uh, right.” Dary mutters. “The woman from the group. I uh - I’m Daryl. Lydia’s dad.” He holds out a hand, which she shakes warmly. “So uh - you uh - you do this… alot?”

“Sort of.” A sad smile crosses Carol’s face. “How long do you have?” 

“Don’ know.” daryl admits, holding up the small device the nurse had given him. “This’ll go off.” 

“She's getting a PICC line today too?” Carol asks. 

“Uh, yeah.” Daryl frowns. “And a bone marrow thing and some - some chemo.” 

“We have about an hour and a half, maybe longer.” Carol says. “Come on I’ll buy you breakfast.” 

“Thanks.” he mutters. “I uh - Dr. Rhee told me you were a single parent doing this too.” 

“Yeah.” She nods. “I was. I started this group mostly for single parents but any parent who doesn’t have support is welcome. We mostly see people who come here specifically for their child’s treatment. They don’t have a lot of resources so we help out. But we do have other single parents.” 

“I didn’t even know there were enough kids for that.” He whispers. 

“I never wanted to know.” Carol offers a sad smile, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “No one ever wants to know.”

Daryl sighs, stepping into the elevator and pressing the button for the 5th floor where the cafeteria is. “So uh - there are other single parents an’ stuff?” 

“Yeah.” Carol nods, stepping out as the elevator doors open. “Ezekiel, his son Henry is in active treatment right now. They’re across the hall from you actually.” 

“Yeah I uh - I saw ‘em last night. Playing hide and seek I think.” Daryl says. “Ezekiel’s got the long dreadlocks?” 

“Yep.” Carol says. “That’s him. His son’s a sweet boy, happiest kid I've ever seen on the floor to be honest. They’re in church right now but I’ll introduce you later. Now what are you having?” 

Daryl hadn’t even remembered the offer for buying breakfast, he looks up blankly at the menu, he isn’t very hungry despite not eating since yesterday. He shakes his head. “I’m not hungry.” 

“I’m getting you pancakes.” Carol’s voice is firm. 

“I don’t -” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t want them.” She interjects. “You need to keep your strength up for Lydia, so you’re gonna eat pancakes and have a cup of coffee while we talk. Deal?” 

“Fine.” Daryl is too tired to argue. “Wan’ me t’ grab a seat?” 

“Sure.” Carol says. “I’ll be back with the food.” 

He shuffles over to an empty table and sits down at it, picking at the back of his nails and watching Carol move through the line. She’s not really what he expected, he’d expected one of those church lady types who hug you and say she’ll send prayers, sort of dumpy looking really. Carol was… different. She had an almost sharp aspect to her, and he got the sense that she’d tell him like it was, she wouldn’t sugar coat anything he asked. She’s pretty too, but not in the overly happy church lady way he’d expected. In a way that had weathered storms and still remained. 

Carol turns back to him, two trays in her hands and starts towards him. Daryl sighs and sits back in his chair, letting her place the tray with the pile of pancakes, plastic dish of syrup, and a hot cup of coffee, down in front of him. Then she sits across from him, he glances at her and reaches for the coffee. 

“Thanks.” He mutters. 

“No problem.” she says. “I’ve been here before.” 

“Yeah uh - Dr. Rhee mentioned it.” He nods, cutting into the pancakes and taking a half hearted bite. 

“It’s hard.” She says, cutting into her own pancakes. “The group has a formal meeting on Tuesday night in the chapel if you want to come, but uh - I can answer some questions right now if you have them.” 

“I don’t - I don’t even know where to begin.” Daryl admits. “It’s - it’s all so overwhelming. I mean yesterday, right about now we - we were on our way to the pediatrician because she had bruises and - and I thought someone was hurting her.” 

“Bruises.” Carol whispers, Daryl looks up from his tray. She looks like he’s slapped her. 

“Yeah.” He nods. “She uh - well she was abused before - before I adopted her and I thought - I worried it was happenin’ again.” Carol seems to jerk out of a trance. 

“She’s adopted?” 

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “I uh - I’m a cop, I work with special victims and uh, I worked her case and adopted her. Why?” 

“Oh Ezekiel,” she says. “He uh - his son Henry is adopted too, but Ezekiel.” 

Now he feels like he’s been slapped. “We’re not even the first adoptive family?” 

“No.” Carol’s voice falls flat. 

“Good Lord.” Daryl breathes. “I - yesterday Cancer wasn’t even on my mind.” 

“Now it’s all you can think about.” Carol nods. 

They sit in silence, staring at their food until the vibration of Carol’s phone jerks them both back to reality. Carol pulls it out and glances at it. 

“That’s Ezekiel.” She says. “He’s on his way down.” 

“He’s uh - he’s got the boy across the hall?” Daryl asks. 

“Yeah.” Carol nods. “Active treatment, his 3rd month I think?” 

“Oh.” Daryl says. “For uh for what?” 

“Neuroblastoma.” Carol nods, taking another bite. 

“And what about your daughter - uh you didn’t - I don’ know her name.” Daryl swallows. “What uh - what did she have?” 

Carol pauses, her forke hovering above the fluffy pancakes. “Her name was Sophia. She had high risk Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.” 

“Oh.” Daryl says. He knew Lydia had Leukemia, but he wasn’t sure about what type or how low or high risk it was yet. He was supposed to find all of that out after today though. He shuffled through his brain, trying to remember what he’d been told by Dr. Rhee the night before. It’s a useless effort though, because all he ends up with is a dull headache. “And uh what - how’s she doing.” 

Something in Carol changes then, her eyes seem to harden over, and she takes another bite, chewing, swallowing, and taking a drink of coffee. 

“Sophia died.” She says. “Three years ago.” 


	4. Glass Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol remembers Sophia's leukemia, Daryl meets Ezekiel, and Lydia learns about cancer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped to get this out last night but alas it was not to be. I think the next few chapters will come at a slower pace, I'm currently getting my ass kicked by my new medication and have a ton of school and am about to go back to work at the start of next week. But let me know what you think, I really look forward to all of your comments and I read each of them! 
> 
> If you're interested I also post the fic over on tumblr, my URL is appilachianwiine and I've put together a bit of a playlist for this fic with the songs from the beginning of each chapter.

_There was an earthquake_   
_There was an avalanche of change_   
_We were so afraid_   
_We cried ourselves a hurricane_

_There were floods_   
_Tidal waves over us_   
_So we folded our hands and prayed_   
_Like a domino_   
_These wildfires grow and grow_   
_Until a brand new world takes shape_

-" _Earth" by Sleeping At Last_

“Carol!” Ezekiel’s booming voice cuts across the cafeteria, causing her and Daryl to both jump. 

“Ezekiel.” Carol forces a smile across her face and stands to hug him, his broad arms pulling her into a tight hug. Her heart is beating heavily in her chest. “How’s Henry?” 

“Good, he’s meeting with the tutor for a half hour before his infusion today.” Ezekiel kisses her cheek and extends a hand down to Daryl. “You and your daughter came in last night didn’t you?” 

“Yeah.” Daryl says, his gruff voice muttering out a few more words Carol doesn’t pick up. 

“I -I’m going to the bathroom you two uh - get acquainted.” She doesn’t wait to pay attention to the response given to her, she hurries across the cafeteria and into the ladies room. She goes immediately to the sink, splashing some cool water on her face and looking up into the mirror. 

‘ _ Bruises. ...i thought maybe someone was hurtin’ her’  _

It sends a shiver down her spine. Had it really only been 4 years since she’d had those same thoughts? 

Closing her eyes her mind drifts back to that day, in the little house in southern Georgia _.  _

_ She leaned close to the mirror, carefully covering the latest of Ed’s marks with concealer. Sophia wasn’t up yet, she was always careful to keep the bruises covered in front of Sophia. She’s just putting the cap on the concealer and putting it back in her purse when she hears the tiny knock at the door, reaching over she opens it.  _

_ “Mornin’ baby girl.” She smiles. “Need the potty?” _

_ “No.” Sophia mutters sleepily. “I’m hungry and couldn’t find you.” _

_ “Go get dressed and I’ll make you some breakfast.” Carol offers, kissing her daughter’s soft blonde hair.  _

_ “You didn’t lay out my uniform last night.” Sophia whimpered. “You and daddy were fighting.”  _

_ “Oh.” Carol breathes. She’d hoped Sophia hadn’t heard that, and she hoped now she didn’t know about the beating Carol had received last night. “Okay, lets go get your uniform then huh?”  _

_ Carol takes Sophia’s hand and leads her into the laundry room. “You take that night gown off and put it on the hamper, it needs to be washed.” Carol digs through the dryer, finding the dark green top and khaki skirt after a moment. She grabs them and turns to Sophia.  _

_ Sophia’s back is to her as she puts the night gown into the laundry hamper and across her side is a large purple bruise. Carol lets out a shriek and drops the uniform, pulling Sophia to her.  _

_ “Mommy?!” Sophia yelps, turning back to her. “Mommy what?” _

_ “Sophia.” Carol’s voice shakes and she has to fight to keep from crying. “Sophia how did you get that bruise?”  _

_ “I -” Sophia frowns, her blue eyes watching Carol. Carol’s eyes scan Sophia’s torso, and arms, nothing, but her legs, her legs have several similar welts.  _

_ Dear god. She’d left her with Ed a few days ago to go visit her mother in the nursing home. It was flu season, Sophia couldn’t come with her. It was Just for a couple of hours but he hadn’t been happy about it. She’d been positive he would never lay a hand on his own child. She’d been wrong, she’d been so very wrong.  _

_ “You’re not going to school today.” Carol decides. “Go get - get your backpack and get a few toys and books okay.”  _

_ “Wh-where are we going?” Sophia whimpers.  _

_ “We’re leaving.” She says firmly, giving Sophia a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I let this happen.”  _

She and Sophia had driven nearly 2 hours to get to the women’s shelter in Atlanta. A friend had given her the card once, Carol had insisted she didn’t need it, but kept it anyway. She’d wished she’d left sooner, hadn’t let him touch Sophia. But it turned out, he hadn’t. The bruises didn’t go away, and she started complaining about her legs hurting, then the fevers, and finally an answer. 

Leukemia. High-risk. 

She sucks in a shaking breath, and splashes more water over her face. Looking in the mirror she realizes how tired she looks. Her long hair falling limply around her shoulders. She definitely wasn’t the picture of hope for a new cancer parent - and telling him Sophia had died probably didn’t help either - but she had a policy. Be realistic. Be supportive. Don’t lie. 

Carol turns off the tap and leaves the bathroom, forcing the pain and the anger back down as she approached the table. 

“What I miss?” she says, sitting down in a chair next to Ezekiel and reaching for her coffee cup. 

“Not much.” Daryl says. “Uh Henry and Lyda are the same age.” 

“And I think Henry will like a friend.” Ezekiel says. “With his immune system the way it is we don’t get out much, and given we’ve only been in Atlanta three months, he hasn’t had much opportunity for friends.” 

“Three months?” Daryl frowns. 

“We moved down here after the diagnosis.” Ezekiel explains, he’s clutching his own cup of coffee. “Because of it really, when I found out Henry’s cancer was high risk with a high rate of relapse I decided to, well roll the dice seems rather cold. But Dr. Porter is running a clinical trial for high risk Neuroblastoma. I wanted Henry in it and that meant moving here.” 

“Damn.” Daryl mutters. “Where y’all from?” 

“DC area. A town called Woodbridge, but I worked at the National Zoo.” Ezekiel explains. 

“Zoo keeper.” Daryl frowns. “Cool.” 

“Sorry.” Ezekiel smiles sheepishly. “Carol is often reminding me I can ramble a bit.” 

“It’s just ‘cause you do.” Carol forces a chuckle. “So um - Daryl is uh- is there anything you want to know?” 

“Uh,” Daryl shifts in his seat, still clutching the coffee cup. “Not - I can’t really think of much. But uh - thanks. For - for all this We - it’s really overwhelming.” 

“Yeah.” Carol nods. “It is, trust me we understand.” 

“Your son,” Daryl says, looking over at Ezekiel. “Is - is he doing well. Is it - is it working?” 

“He’s doing as well as can be expected.” Ezekiel nods. “He’s been better the last week, but he’s due to start a new round today so I’m sure that will change. He has good days and bad days mostly. Sundays are usually good, Mass makes him feel better he says.” 

Daryl looks like he doesn’t really know how to respond to that, and Carol can’t say she blamed him. Ezekiel’s unwavering faith in God was something she couldn’t relate to, she’d turned her back on faith when Sophia was taken from her. How any God could put them through the hell that was almost a decade of their lives and then take her daughter she couldn’t understand. 

“He is lonely though, I think that’s the hardest part for him.” Ezekiel continues. “We don’t see other children much, we get groceries delivered, we don’t go to the pool, even the playground I try to avoid. And when we do go he has to wear a mask and sunscreen and a hat - chemo makes them burn very easily and I don’t want to risk anything.” 

“Damn.” Daryl mutters “She ain’ gonna like tha’.

“Henry doesn’t either.” Ezekiel sighs. “We see other cancer families occasionally, Thursdays during the support group one of the therapy dogs comes by for them to play with, and if he’s feeling well enough he’ll go to the playroom and sometimes there’s another child there. But that’s it.” 

“And uh - is his treatment working?” Daryl asks. 

“So far yes.” Ezekiel nods, on his wrist his watch beeps. “Ah that’ll be Henry's lesson over. I should get going, it was nice meeting you daryl, if your Lydia is feeling up to it please stop by today, they can have a snack together.” 

“Sure.” Daryl mutters. 

“And Daryl?” Ezekiel says, his tone suddenly serious. “You may be a single parent but you are not alone. Not anymore. We have your back.”

* * *

Daryl watches Ezekiel go to the counter to order hot chocolate for his son, he’s not sure what to make of the man. He seemed entirely too happy to be the parent of a child this sick. Entirely too well rested. Entirely too… everything. 

“He always like that?” Daryl asks. 

“Happy? Sort of overwhelmingly so?” Carol asks

“Yeah.” 

“He’s not happy.” Carol shakes her head. “The truth is he’s terrified, he’s alone in a new city with his very sick son, working at a Zoo when he can - which isn’t often - and the medical bills pile up fast. But he does try to be positive. For Henry he says but - but the truth is you can’t face it in here.” 

“What’d ya mean?” Daryl frowns. “All I’ve done since las’ night's face it.” 

“Well,” She sighs. “It’s - it’s different then that. You can face it, you have to face it every day because your child has to and you don’t want them to be alone. But feeling it?” She shakes her head. “No. You don’t feel it. Not really. Not until it’s over.” 

“Ah.” Daryl mutters, he had been doing that. Holding it together so he doesn’t freak Lydia out. “I uh - I haven’t even told her yet. I mean she knows she’s sick but - but I just told her her blood was bad.” 

“You’ll probably want to tell her today.” Carol says. “Child life can help you, Dr. Rhee will have them send someone up, they have a doll she can keep, and really good specialists.” 

“Okay.” Daryl sighs, running his hand over his face. “I uh - I don’t know what i’m doing.” 

“None of us did.” Carol shrugs, draining the last of her coffee. “But you figure it out, and Ezekiel is right Daryl, you’re not alone. Not anymore. I’m gonna give you my phone number, you call any time you need and let me know before she’s discharged. You’re gonna need some things at home, alcohol hand sanitizer, wipes, sheets, and trust me you’re gonna be too overwhelmed to think about it.” 

“Yeah?” Daryl licks his lips, watching her scrawl her number on a napkin. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and glances at the number “That a 3 or an 8?”

“Eight.” Carol says. He finishes dialing the number, in her pocket her phone goes off. “Perfect.” He puts her contact information down. “And Daryl, anytime you need to talk, really I’m just a phone call away.” 

“Thanks.” Daryl nods. “I uh - I do have just one question, it’s kinda personal.” 

She tilts her head to the side. “Yeah?”

“Sophia - how did you uh - how did you know she had high risk leukemia?” 

“The bone marrow tests.” Carol says softly. “They came back about a week after the initial diagnosis.” 

“So we won’t know anything today?” Daryl sighs. 

“Nope.” Carol says. “It’s one of the more frustrating parts of all of this. The first couple of days move so fast, almost so fast you can’t think and then everything slows down. It’s kind of like being in a car with a bad driver. Speed up, jerk to a halt, speed up again, come to a halt again. And by the time the ride is over you’ve got whiplash and you’re pretty sick and not quite sure you’ll ever get back in the car with that person ever again - only the person is cancer and you don’t have a choice sometimes.” 

The analogy stings a little, he’s not sure what to say here, but he’s sure he likes her approach a lot more then the smiling and rainbows one Ezekiel seemed to take. At least this was understandable. In his pocket the little pager goes off. 

“Tha’s the doc.” Daryl says, sitting up. 

“I’ll walk you up to recovery.” Carol says. “I’ll be around a couple more hours though, I’m gonna stop in and see Henry. If you need anything.” 

“Thanks.” He mutters. 

* * *

Both Dr. Rhee’s are waiting for him in a family room off of the recovery suites, they stand to greet him when he walks in. He shakes their hands in turn and takes a seat at the conference table across from them. 

“How is she?” Daryl asks. “She awake?” 

“Not yet.” The Surgeon - Glenn Rhee - says. “She’ll be waking up in about 20 minutes, we just wanted to sit down with you and go over some stuff.” 

“Okay.” daryl says, 

“The surgery went well,” Glenn starts. “The PICC line went in no problem, she has good veins. Now you’re going to want to keep it from getting wet and bound up out of the way when it’s not in use. You can use medical tape, it’s fairly easy. You’ll have to flush it twice a day at home but don’t worry about that right now. We’ll cover how to do that before she’s discharged.” 

“Okay.” He nods. “And uh - how about the bone marrow and the - the chemo did she do okay?” 

“She was out like a light the whole time I promise.” Maggie smiles. “She’ll be a little sore when she wakes up, and she might have a headache. That’s very common after a lumbar puncture we’ll keep on top of it.” 

“She got the chemo too?” Daryl asks. “Will that - I mean will her hair be gone or something.” 

“Not yet.” Maggie explains, pulling out a sheet of paper from the folder in her hands. “This is the chemo we gave her, and these are the possible side effects. The hair loss will come gradually, and will probably mostly happen when you’re at home. But we’re gonna get someone from Child Life to come help her understand all of that. Most side effects from this chemo are pretty mild, she won’t feel them right away. Around 30% do feel them immediately, usually nausea, vomiting, fever. Nothing to worry about but we’ll keep an eye on it. There are more serious side effects but those are very rare and since she’s in the hospital we’ll be keeping an eye on it. I can tell you about them if you want but right now, since she’s in the hospital, you don’t need to worry. This moves really fast, so I think it’s best if we just tell you what you need to know right now.”

“Yeah.” Daryl agrees, his head is already full to bursting with information from the meeting with Carol and Ezekiel, he definitely can’t take much more at the moment. “What about the bone marrow, when will we know about that?” 

“Well the lab that does bone marrow sampling ain’ open on Sundays, so the sample won’t start being processed until tomorrow, but we should have results by Thursday.” Maggie explains. 

“The lab ain’ open on Sundays?” He scowls. “My kids got cancer an’ they’re takin’ time off fer church?” 

“I know it’s frustrating.” Maggie says. “But Mr. Dixon I promise you, while you do have a very sick little girl, this is a marathon not a sprint.” Her voice is firm, but not unkind. “Results on Wednesday versus thursday won’t make a difference at the end.” 

“Well what do we do in the meantime?” Daryl asks. “We just let this thing get hold of her?”

“No.” Maggie reassures. “In the meantime we keep her platelets up, her fever free, and we start Chemotherapy.” 

“How can we start chemo if you don’ even know which type she’s got?” He snaps. 

“Because in the beginning, you treat most Leukemia the same.” Maggie explains. “We tailor the treatment to the child after we know which kind they have, but she can start chemo tonight, we have to get her blood work back first and I want her to have a little down time after the surgery, but if all goes well she’ll start chemo at around 9pm.” Maggie explains. 

“9pm.” dary mutters. “Her bedtime’s at 8.” 

“Hospitals aren’t great for bedtime.” Maggie smiles sympathetically. 

“And uh -” He swallows. “Carol told me t- to talk t’ ya ‘bout gettin’ some help for tellin’ her about the cancer. She doesn't know yet. I just said she was sick with bad blood but she’s 8, she’s gotta have a better explanation then that.” 

“Of course.” Maggie nods. “I’ll get in contact with Child Life and they can send someone up in a couple of hours. She’ll want to eat and probably nap some first, it’s been a big day. They can come up around 4 this afternoon though.” 

“Yeah sure.” Daryl nods. “I’m just - she can read.” It sounds rather dumb, but he shifts in his chair as he thinks through explaining this. “She’s gonna be able to read the - the door. The ‘center for cancer and blood disorders’. And she’s gonna ask and I - I don’ wanna lie t’ her. She’s got a lot of - of trauma in the past, she gets real upset if she thinks people ain’ bein straight with ‘er” 

“Okay.” Maggie nods slowly. “Well in that case, I can get Child Life to meet you in the room when she leaves the recovery suite.” 

“Thanks.'' Daryl nods. “We uh - I jus’ wanna make this as easy as possible.” 

“Of course Mr. Dixon.” Maggie smiles. “You spoke t’ Carol?” 

“Yeah.” He nods. “She uh - she’s good. Met the guy across the hall too.” 

“Good.” She nods. “You’ll need support during this.” 

“We have - I mean we have some support.” He nods. “My uh - my partner at the station, Lori, her ex and his wife.” It occurs to him that he really should call them, he’d had his phone silenced since last night and had hardly looked at it this morning. 

“Good.” Glenn says. “Now do you have any questions?’ 

“No, not that I need to know now. I just - I just want my girl back.” He sighs. 

“We’ll take you right over.” Maggie promises, standing up. “Follow me.” 

* * *

Lydia comes out of the anesthetic kicking and screaming, it takes them nearly a half hour to calm down, by which point Daryl is so shaken he’s sure  _ he’s  _ about to kick off. The only way Lydia will let them roll the bed anywhere is if she’s planted firmly in Daryl’s lap, popsicle in hand. She’s curled up with her head resting on his chest, eyes puffy from crying when they make it back to their room. Maggie is waiting for them, accompanied by a blonde girl carrying a toy box, this must be Child Life, he’d completely forgotten about them. Maybe he should’ve waited until this evening. 

“Hi Lydia!” The blonde says brightly. 

“Who are you?” Lydia mutters, clinging to Daryl with one hand. 

“I’m Beth,” The blonde holds out her hand. “And I bet you’re a little scared right now?”

Lydia nods. 

“Maybe confused?” Beth continues. 

“Yeah.” Lydia mutters. “I just want to go home. We were supposed to go to Carl’s.” 

“Is Carl your best friend?” Beth grins. 

“Yeah.” Lydia says. “He’s nice. Sometimes he shares his hat.” 

“Well that’s very nice of him.” Beth says. “Can I sit down?” 

“Yeah.” Lydia shifts so she can get a better look at Beth as she sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“Do you know why you couldn’t go over to Carl’s?” Beth asks, setting the box down between them. 

“Because I’m sick. I have bad blood.” Lydia says. 

“Well sort of.” Beth says. “We have a word for bad blood, we call it Leukemia.” 

“Leukemia?” Lydia wrinkles her nose. 

“Yeah,” Beth says. “And Leukemia is something called Cancer. Do you know what Cancer is?” 

“It makes the kids on TV hair fall out.” Lydia’s answer catches him by surprise. Where on earth would she have seen cancer on TV? “And then they ask for money for church.” 

“You mean the St. Judes commercial?” Daryl frowns. 

“Yeah. They need money for church.” Lydia looks back at him. 

“That’s not really what -” 

“It’s fine Mr. Dixon.” Beth intervenes. “We’re gettin’ a little off topic. So Lydia, you have Leukemia, and that’s a type of Cancer.” 

“Am I gonna lose my hair?” Lydia whimpers. 

“Yeah,” Beth says. “But,” she produces the plastic box, which he now sees holds a bald doll, a few colorful hats and wigs. “This Doll has leukemia too, and she lost all her hair, but she gets to wear lots of hats, and wigs, and scarves.” Beth points to each one in turn. 

“Can I wear hats?” Lydia looks back at Daryl. 

“‘Course you can.” He mutters, kissing the top of her head. 

“Here,” Beth opens the box. “This is yours, how about we try the hats on her?” 

“Okay!” Lydia says, scrambling off Daryl’s lap to sit next to Beth and the doll. 

“Hey Lyd,” Daryl says, swinging his feet off the bed. “I’ll be righ’ back okay?” 

“Okay.” Lydia doesn’t even turn to look at him, nor does she notice when he kisses her head again, she’s too preoccupied with the toy. 

He steps into the hall, and runs a hand through his hair. He can feel his heart pounding, hear the blood rushing in his ears. God he’s gonna be sick. Her hair is gonna fall out. Her hair is going to fall out and then she’s gonna look like one of those kids on TV. He rests his hands on his knees. One of those kids who you look sympathetically at their parents in the grocery store. One of those kids that people said they’d pray for. 

“You okay?” He looks up, Carol is standing in the doorway of room 323. 

“She uh - she’s gonna lose her hair.” He mutters, sliding down to sit on the floor. 

“Yeah.” Carol whispers, crossing her arms and coming to sit next to him. 

“She’s gonna look sick.” Daryl whispers. 

“Yeah.” Carol agrees. 

“People are gonna - they’re gonna look at her like people look at sick kids.” Daryl whispers. 

“Yeah.” Carol agrees. 

“God I used to look at sick kids like that.” He mutters. 

“You still will.” Carol says. “But in a different way. With more understanding. You’ll know that they’re having a good day because they’re in the grocery store. Or at the park. You’ll know how hard they’re fighting to be here. You’ll just, know.” 

“I don’t want to do this.” 

Carol reaches over and takes his hand, giving it a squeeze. “No one does.” 

“Daddy!” Lydia calls. “Come look! Come Look!” 

“Duty calls.” Daryl says. 

“Always does.” Carol lets go of his hand and offers a smile. “I’ll be here a few more hours, with Henry and Ezekiel. Bring her over if she feels better.” 

“I will.” Daryl promises, standing up and holding out a hand to help her up. 

Carol takes it and lets him pull her to his feet. “And don’t be afraid to reach out for help, now go, I think you have a few hours of Barbie ahead of you.” 


	5. A Light In the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Lydia get a day to breathe. Lydia makes a new friend in Henry. Carol promises to call. Carl comes to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we are, chapter 5. 
> 
> Admittedly this chapter is mostly set up for the next one, but it is important down the line so let me know what you think.

_I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution_

_-"The Resolution" by Jacks Mannequin_

“Well we’re not going to be starting Chemo tonight after all.” Dr. Rhee says as she walks in shortly after lunch. 

“We’re not?” Daryl frowns.

“No her post op lab results show just a little bit of an increase in white blood cells.” Dr. Rhee explains. “I’m going to give her some antibiotics and retest tomorrow morning. But the good news is that means she can go down to the playroom for a bit.” 

“Can she have visitors?” Daryl asks. Lydia had been asking about seeing Carl since the child life specialist, Beth, had left. 

“Yeah she can, but visiting hours for non family end at 8pm” Dr. Rhee informs him. 

“Want me t’ call ‘em baby girl?” Daryl asks. 

“Can you?” Lydia pleads. 

“Yeah.” Daryl picks up his phone and dials Lori. 

“Daryl?!” Her voice is a little strained. “We’ve been calling all day. Is everything okay?” 

Its with a rush of guilt he realizes he’s hardly looked at his phone since she called him yesterday. “Shit sorry Lori.” He gives her the short version of it all, about the leukemia, the lumbar puncture, the results they were waiting on.

“I can’t believe you didn’t call earlier.” Lori scolds. “Daryl, we should’ve been there. I can’t believe you had to do all this alone.” 

Daryl grimaces. “Sorry, I uh - I actually had a meetin’ this mornin’. With a nice woman who runs the support group here fer parents. She was a single parent when she went through this with her daughter.” 

“Oh.” Lori says. “Is - is there a lot of that? Single parents I mean.” 

Daryl glances over at Lydia, who’s drawn back into the television. “I ain’ even the only adoptive parent righ’ now. There’s a guy across the hall, Ezekiel, an’ his kid.” 

“Shit.” Lori mutters. “Well um - do you - do you want us to come by? Can she have visitors?” 

“Yeah she can. She’s been askin’ t’ see Carl. Real disappointed in not getting t’ see him yesterday.” Daryl says. 

“I’ll give Rick a call and we’ll be by.” Lori says. “You need anything from home?” 

“No we’re alright.” Daryl says. “Thanks Lori.” 

“Of course.” Lori says. “We’ll see you around 3?” 

“See you then.” He hangs up, turning back to Lydia, who’s watching him with hopeful eyes. “They’ll be here around three.” 

“Yay!” Lydia grins, bouncing up and down. 

“Ya know,” Dr. Rhee says. “Maybe Miss Lydia would like to check out the playroom. She’ll have to wear a mask and stay connected to the infusion pump, but they’ve got a lot of good stuff in there.”

“Can we daddy?” Lydia asks. 

“Sure.” Daryl agrees, he’ll do anything to keep her in good spirits right now. She seems to be feeling good and he’d like to keep it that way. “You know there’s a little boy yer age across the hall?” 

“There is?” Lydia asks. “Can I see him?” 

“Sure, lets go over and see if he wants to come with us.” Daryl helps Lydia out of bed and sets her carefully on the floor. “Hang on let me get the pole.” He reaches for the infusion pole, fumbling with the latch that attaches it to the bed for a moment. It releases and he pulls it towards him, it’s surprisingly heavy. “Alright lets go kiddo.” 

They have to pause twice for Daryl to gather up the tubing that comes out of Lydia’s arm and up to the bag of antibiotics. As he loops them around his hand it strikes him that this isn’t unlike Dog’s long line, wrapped around his hands and unraveling as they move. Lydia looks back at Daryl as they reach the door of 323. 

“You knock daddy.” Lydia mutters, reaching out to grab his hand. The wariness returns to her as they stand in front of the door. 

“Okay.” He says, squeezing her hand and reaching out to knock. 

“A moment!” Ezekiel’s voice comes from beyond the door. There’s some scrambling and then the door pulls open. “Daryl!” 

The booming voice makes Lydia flinch and draw closer to Daryl. Daryl reassures her with a hand on her head, stroking her hair back. “Uh, Ezekiel. This is Lydia.” He smiles. “She was wondering if - if Henry might want to come to the playroom.” 

Ezekiel kneels in front of them, and it’s then that Daryl sees he’s wearing a paper crown colored in yellow and pink. “Hello Lydia.” His voice drops. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Ezekiel.” He holds out a hand. 

Lydia’s brown eyes look back up at Daryl, and then, slowly, she reaches out to shake Ezekiel’s hand. “Hi.” 

“Would you like to come in and meet Henry?” Ezekiel asks. Lydia nods silently, and Ezekiel stands, offering a smile and stepping back from the door. “Come in, he’s over there with Carol.” 

Daryl pushes the IV pole into the room, it’s a mirror image of their own, except this one is decorated. Behind the bed is one of those banners you get from the party store spelling out ‘Henry’ in bold green letters, and a bunch of printer sheet sized papers with colorful backsplash and lettering taped around the room. As he walks past one Daryl sees it’s a bible verse, the others appear to be too. Over by the window the bald little boy is sitting on Carol’s lap and holding plastic dinosaurs. 

“Henry.” Ezekiel calls. “Someone is here to see you.” 

The boy’s head turns and Daryl is struck by how in the light of day his skin appears almost translucent but his eyes are bright and alert. “Hi.” He says, climbing off of Carol’s lap and trotting across the floor, his own infusion tube trailing after him. “I’m Henry.” 

“Lydia.” She mumbles, hiding her face against Daryl’s leg. 

“Go on.” Daryl mutters, nudging her forward. “Ask him.” 

“Do you um… want to go to the… to the playroom?” She mutters, half into Daryl’s leg. 

“Sure.” A smile stretches across Henry’s face. “Can we daddy?” 

“Sure Henry.” Ezekiel says, already fumbling with the latch on the infusion pole. 

“Hi Daryl.” Carol says. “She doing okay?” 

“Yeah I think so.” Daryl nods. “Better now that she ate, and uh her friend is coming to visit soon.” 

“Are you coming with us?” Henry asks Carol as he drops a few plastic dinosaurs into a tub. 

“If your daddy doesn’t mind.” Carol smiles. 

“Never do.” Ezekiel smiles, sliding Henry’s own infusion pole over to them. “Ready?” 

* * *

The playroom is at the other end of the floor, it’s empty and clean, even here everything smells sterile and controlled. There’s a sign telling the kids to wear masks before they go in, and two boxes, one with princesses and the other with trucks. A bit gendered but it’s an option. Henry reaches confidently for the princess one and puts it on, Lydia on the other hand looks warily at them. 

“I don’t want those.” Lydia murmurs. 

“I know.” Daryl sighs. “But those are the rules, if you don’t follow them you have to go back to the room.” 

“Fine.” Lydia scowls, grabbing one of the pink princess ones and putting it on. “Can we go play now?” 

“Go on.” Daryl says, pushing her infusion pole over to one of the small tables and watching her drag out the barbies.

“They seem to be hitting it off.” Carol comes to stand next to him, Ezekiel is helping the kids pull the toys out, still wearing the paper crown. 

“Yeah.” Daryl mutters. “What’s uh - what’s with the crown?” 

“Oh,” Carol chuckles. “Henry was making us play something he calls ‘’Kingdom” It changes but the theme is usually he’s a prince and Ezekiel is the King and they have to fight monsters.” 

“Ah.” Daryl chuckles. “A fun kid?” 

“Oh tons of fun.” Carol nods. “When he feels good anyway, he’ll probably take a hit after this round of Chemo.” Her smile fades a little bit. 

“Oh.” Dary mutters. 

“Sorry.” Carol apologizes. “It’s just - it’s always a little hard being here.” 

“I can’t even imagine.” Daryl sighs. “Losing her it’s -” 

“Don’t.” Carol cuts him off. “I’m sorry just - the words don’t… they don’t help and you don’t need to go there right now.” 

“Right.” He’s quiet for a while, an awkward silence stretching out in front of them. 

“What do you do?” Carol says after a moment. 

“Cop. Special Victims, domestic violence and child abuse mostly” He nods. “‘S how I met Lydia. You?” 

“High School English teacher.” Carol says. Daryl chuckles. “What?” 

“I don’ know I didn’t picture that.” He shrugs. 

“Oh really?” Carol raises her eyebrows. “What did you picture Mr. Cop?” 

“I don’t know. I just can’t picture you as a strict highschool English teacher.” He scratches his chin. “You uh make the kids write a million drafts?” 

“If I don't, no one will.” She chuckles. “I wanted to teach Elementary though, but after Sophia… highschool was easier.” 

“Ah.” Daryl nods. “And uh, you an’ Ezekiel, how long has that been a thing? Just since he moved down here? Or did you know him before?” 

“Me and Ezekiel?” She raises her eyebrows. “Oh we’re not - no, just friends. Trust me the last thing either of us has the time or energy for is dating. He got in contact with me a lot like you did actually, referral through Maggie.” 

“Oh.” Daryl says. “I uh, sorry I just assumed, I mean Henry seems to adore you and I just assumed.” 

“It’s fine.” Carol promises. “So what’s her plan?” 

“Lydias?” Daryl asks, Carol nods. “Oh um, well apparently the lab is closed on Sundays, but we should have results by Thursday, but I think she’s supposed to start Chemo tomorrow. What uh… what can I expect? I mean Dr. Rhee told me but it’s kind of overwhelming.”

“Daryl.” Carol sighs. “Are you sure you can handle this right now?” 

“I’m fine.” He insists. “The hallway was just -” 

“It’s okay.” Carol reaches over and squeezes his arm. “You don’t have to explain, I promise we’ve all had breakdowns in the hallway.” 

“Right.” Daryl rubs his hands on his jeans.

“So um,” Carol says. “So they’ll probably give about four hours of fluids first, chemo does a lot of damage to the kidneys so they’ll want her to flush it as quickly as possible. So expect a lot of potty breaks, then she’ll get her chemo, then another four hours of fluids. She’ll feel pretty tired, nauseous, she might get constipated, and her blood counts will plummet.” 

“What does that mean?” Daryl asks. “Like what do I - what will she look like.” 

“Um, pale, they’ll watch her for a certain kind of bruising, she’ll have a higher chance of infection. It’s not too bad when they’re checking her all the time, but it’s nerve wracking when you’re at home.” Carol sighs, chewing her lip. 

“Her hair.” He says quietly. “How long… um will that take to…” 

“To fall out?” Carol says slowly, he can still sense some reluctance on her part. “Sophia's took about 2 weeks to really start coming out and then we shaved it after the third week, it was starting to upset her. But Henry kept all of his until it was gone and that was about a month.” 

“A month.” He mutters. “That’s uh - that’s not very long.” 

“No.” Carol shakes her head. “But you’re gonna get through this Daryl. It’s like Ezekiel said, you’re not alone in this. You can call me any time, seriously.” 

“Yeah.” He nods. “I uh - I will.” 

“I know that look.” Carol says. “Which means I’m going to be calling  _ you  _ to check in.” 

“What d’ ya mean?” He gowns. 

“That look means you’re not going to reach out first and you’re going to be stubborn about it.” Carol nudges him. 

He blushes, that had been what he was thinking. “Fine. FIne. I’ll call.” 

“Before you’re discharged. You’ll need help with that. There’s a lot that needs to be done for her to come home.” Carol insists. 

“Yeah alright. Before she’s discharged.” Daryl promises. 

* * *

They linger in the playroom for another half an hour, after which Henry starts complaining that he’s tired. Ezekiel takes Henry back to their room and Daryl helps Lydia put away some of the toys. 

“Come on kiddo, Carl will be here soon.” Daryl says, putting a few barbies in the bin. 

“Alright.” Lydia pouts putting a couple more barbies away. “Is she coming with us?” 

Daryl looks over at Carol who’s putting away a few plastic animals. “Um, I don’t think so. Why?” 

“I thought she’s Henry’s mom.” Lydia shrugs. “But he says she’s not.” 

“Yeah.” Daryl nods.

“You two want some help getting back to the room?” Carol offers. 

“Nah.” Daryl shakes his head, sliding the bin of barbies back into the cupboard and starting to gather up Lydia’s infusion line. “I think we got it. Don’t we Lydia?” 

“We got it.” Lydia nods. 

“Alright.” Carol smiles. “I’ll get going then okay?” 

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “And uh… thanks for everything.” 

“Of course.” Carol says, holding the door open so he can push the heavy infusion pole through it. “And I mean it, I’ll be calling you. I want to see you in our meeting on Tuesday okay?”

Daryl’s about to answer but he’s cut off by a sharp yelp, Lydia has rushed forward to the end of her line and tugged it. “Lydia!” He mutters, hurrying over to her and kneeling in front of her, it doesn’t appear to have come out. “What are you-” 

“Lydia!” And in a blur another eight year old has rushed up beside him, hugging her tightly. 

“Carl!” Lydia grins, barely noticing the worry she’d caused Daryl. “Move Daddy!” 

“I - “ He looks over at Carol, she’s covered her mouth trying to suppress a giggle. 

“It’s cute.” She says apologetically. “Tuesday?” 

“Yeah.” His shoulders relax. “Tuesday.” Carol walks past him towards the elevator and Daryl pulls the infusion pump closer to them. “Carl where’s your mom?” 

“I don’t know.” Caryl shrugs, sticking his thumbs in his belt looks. “Somewhere.” 

“Carl Grimes!” Lori’s harsh voice says, coming up rapidly behind them, baby Judith on her hip. “Don’t you ever run off like that again you understand?”

“Sorry. I saw Lydia.” Carl shrugs. 

“I can see that.” Lori sighs. “Daryl, sorry about him he knows better.” 

“It’s fine Lori.” Daryl assures. “We’re just heading back to the room.” 

“Who was the woman?” Carl asks, holding Lydia’s hand as Daryl gathers up the cords again and loops them around his arm.

“Oh that’s Carol. She’s not Henry’s mom.” Lydia shrugs. 

“Then who is she?” Carl frowns. 

“I don’t know. Daddy's friend I guess.” Lydia doesn’t seem phased by it and the two start off down the hall, leaving Daryl and Lori to hurry after them. 

“Woman?” Lori raises her eyebrows. 

“Carol.” Daryl says. “She’s from the single parents support group. She uh - saw that whole fiasco.” 

“Ah.” Lori chuckles. “She's pretty?” 

“Yeah I guess. Why?” Daryl narrows his eyes.

“No reason.” Lori smirks. 

“Oh no no no.” Daryl says. “My kid has cancer, you're not playing matchmaker.” 

“You’re no fun.” Lori pouts. 

“Where’s Lori and Michonne?” He’s eager to change the subject. 

“Already in the room probably, they didn’t have a baby to hold them up.” Lori chuckles. “Or a little boy who likes to play the world tour of bathrooms every time we’re somewhere new. They brought some decorations for Lydia.” 

“Daddy look!” Lydia grins from the doorway. “Look what aunt Michonne and Uncle Rick brought!” 

Sure enough, when he gets to the door the entire room has been done up like a Little Mermaid party. Balloons, streamers, and a big ‘get well soon lydia’ sign hanging above the bed.’. He grins sheepishly at rick. “Y’all didn’t have t’ do this.” 

“Of course we did.” Michonne grins. “Now come on Lydia we brought you some presents.” 


End file.
